New Year’s Literary Resolutions

The New Year approaches and many people are attempting to choose their New Year’s resolutions.  To help with this important choice, I have compiled a list of advice about resolutions from several British Literary Greats.  Choose to implement this advice with sense and sensibility, or dismiss them as merely sound and fury, signifying nothing at your own peril.

 

British Literary Greats’ Guide to New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Do not: make resolutions based on anything said by weird sisters, or any trio of strange females.

2. Do not: make resolutions based on what you heard from the ghost of a family member.

3. Do: make resolutions based on what you heard from ghosts of time periods.

4. Do not: make resolutions about avoiding the opposite sex. It never works out.

5. Do: make resolutions based on telepathic communications from exes.

6. Do: make your resolutions without reference to any person wholly unconnected with you, particularly if they are cantankerous old women who have not been accustomed to language such as yours.

7. Do not: make resolutions based on one dance request.

8. Do: make resolutions based on letters from scorned lovers.

9. Do not: resolve to keep trophies from Dark Lords, even when they are vanquished.

10. Do not: make resolutions based on Turkish Delight.

 

15 points for every author you can name.  25 points for every title and author.  50 points for any new literary advice.

 

Enjoy your holidays and may the new year bring you good things, whether your resolution helps or hinders you.

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