Literary Classics Gift-Giving Guide

For those who prefer to get their advice from sources more reputable than Disney, I have here a few gifting tips from the literary classics.  Names of works or authors are accepted.  24 points per reference and 50 points to any new references you add.


Literary Classics  Gift-Giving Guide


1. Make sure to get gifts in the desired color-it keeps things rosy.

2. Don’t give gifts that are too big-it might become an invasion of their space.

3. Consider giving gifts you made yourself-anything that could become an intimate password response just makes home feel more yours.

4. Musical instruments are marvelous romantic gifts, if you can afford the right quality.

5. Things that light up are good gift ideas-it’s always good to have one more light in dark places, in case all other lights go out.

6. If your gift is taking someone else’s place for something distasteful, like chores, remember that it helps to have a good motto to get you through it-preferably about the satisfaction of giving.

7. If getting something engraved, be sure to include both your name and the recipient’s.  It might just help your name reach the ears of someone it’d be very interesting to meet.

8. Getting something in the recipient’s style is far more important than getting something more fancy or expensive.

9. Stories are even better gifts if you can make the recipient the star of the tale.

10. It’s generally agreed by the classic authors that medieval weapons are a great gift idea-more modern arms, not so much.


Hopefully these signposts will help you further along in your great holiday gifting quest.  Good luck!


Disney Gift-Giving Guide

It’s now officially the time of year to delve into a blizzard of gift-giving.  Luckily, there are a few tips to be gleaned just be remembering the Disney films we’ve known and loved for years:


Disney Gift-Giving Guide

1. Items that change color make memorable gifts.

2. It’s best if gifts last past midnight.

3. Statues don’t fare well as gifts, but if you’re going to give one make it of the recipient’s loved one-not the actual recipient.

4. Books are great gifts.  Lots of books make an amazing one.

5. If giving magical tokens, consider including a case to keep them in so they don’t fly away at a crucial moment.

6. Music boxes are lovely presents, so long as you won’t be sharing space with anyone ratty enough to break them.

7. Even lucky bugs do not make good gifts.

8. Hats are fun gifts-even if they’re too large, so long as they make them feel like a hero.

9. It’s okay to wrap live animals in boxes without holes, so long as they are babies.

10. Always do exactly what fairies tell you to do about a present.


And remember, no matter how successful your gifting adventures turn out this year, everyone will still feel that that, to paraphrase, “The greatest gift of all is having you for a friend/sweetheart/family member.”


20 points for every reference, 45 for any you add.  And a happy season of gifting to you!

Big Bang Theory 6×9 ‘Parking Spot Escalation’

I would just like to point out that in this episode the “Little Mermaid” characterizations that I called in these characters here: TOTALLY shine out.  (There are spoilers.)

Amy’s devotion and loyalty to her  man, even if that man is Grimsby instead of the Prince, is center stage.  She even goes so far as to break rules and lash out in ways that hurt other people she loves in her glorification of her relationship with her love interest.  Ariel breaks rules about going to the surface and interacting with humans to save Eric-Amy breaks rules about vandalism in order to help Sheldon.  Ariel abandons her family and leads to chaotic civil war in her home-Amy uses physical violence and strikes her best friend in the world (Penny/Scuttle).  Their characters and stories become even more similar!

As for Bernadette, her identity is Ursula is coming out!  She is the one that had Amy’s car towed.  She is the one that keyed Amy’s car.  A little evil sabotage akin to spying on Ariel and sending Flotsam and Jetsom to overturn Ariel and Eric’s boat, anyone?  It was Bernadette who really started the debate over the guys’ status and power-aka, the things that Ursula the Sea Witch really cares about and can’t stand to have someone else supersede her with, which starts the whole war in the first place-in both “Little Mermaid” and “Big Bang Theory”.  Amy’s remarks about Sheldon always being a genius are akin to Ariel saying Eric is always a human and therefore to be part of his world other people would need to transform.  Bernadette’s remarks about Howard’s pride-of-place stem from an understanding of the current balance of power, like Ursula saying Triton shouldn’t have all the power.

I love it when things continue to come true.


Tolkeinmas Tale-ols 1: “Fellowship of the Ring”

For the upcoming release of “The Hobbit”, I have decided to get festive.  The advent of more/mas Tolkein could do with a few carols, or tale-ols as celebrations of Peter Jackson’s past fine work.

Part I is “Fellowship of the Ring” commemorated in song to the tune of “Do You Hear What I Hear?”


“Will You Go Where I Go?”


Said Frodo Baggins to his gardener,

“Will you go where I go?”

As I set off on a quest so far,

“Will you go where I go?”

Due east, due east, into Sauron’s land

with the orcs as numerous as sand?

With the orcs as numerous as sand?


Said Elrond to the gathered lords,

“Will you guard the hobbit?”

As he goes toward fiery Mount Doom,

“Will you guard the hobbit?”

“With sword, with axe, and with elven bow,

We will guard wherever he may go!

We will guard wherever he may go!”


Said Gandalf to the company,

“Fly, you fools, and leave me!”

As I fall down deep in Morria,

“Fly, you fools, and leave me!”

They ran, they ran, in woods, on river beds,

Protected by Aragorn ahead,

Protected by Aragorn ahead.


Said Aragorn to those who still stood near,

“Hold true to each other!”

As the fellowship no longer shared their cheer,

“Hold true to each other!”

Let’s fight, let’s fight, and save the hobbits bold,

Let’s keep Sauron from spreading his hold!

Let’s keep Sauron from spreading his hold!


They kept Sauron from his ring of gold!


Once Upon a Time 2×9 “Queen of Hearts”

Well, that was a veritable cheesecake of cheesiness, family-home toppings, and crumbling plot points.  I’ll allow it because the holidays are almost here.


Spoilers and Thoughts:

1. For an episode called “Queen of Hearts” there was disappointingly little Wonderland.

2. They are doing it again, with trying to make Hook everything all at once: he’s the anguished, heartbroken lover who can’t rest without revenge.  He’s the callous pirate about to murder Belle for no reason other than frustration.  He’s the chivalrous pirate who freely returns Aurora’s heart.  He’s the badboy player who makes lots of references to sex and women losing their hearts to him.  He’s trying to have chemistry with Emma.  Just STOP IT.  Also, saying right out you would’ve betrayed Cora if Emma hadn’t tied you up right in front of the witch-mother herself was an absurdly stupid thing to do.  Why she just smiled I can’t say.  Perhaps she assumed it was a lie.  Simply couldn’t waste time on the fool when she’s close to reaching Regina.  Whatever-it was idiotic.

3. I am Extremely Gratified to see that with David out of the picture people did indeed begin to call in Ruby when there was an emergency.  Very good.  Perhaps we can keep that up as he will be busy with his family.

4. I am unclear on why no one but Ruby and Henry ran after Rumplestiltskin and Regina.  If no one steals from a dwarf, shouldn’t the dwarves have gone?  The only reason is that the show needed it to be only Henry who convinced Regina to switch sides in order to bake in more cheesy goodness.  I’m not adverse to that result, but there should be a reason why others couldn’t come.  Perhaps holding vigil over sleeping cursed people is addictive and they just couldn’t look away?  Could be the start of the fascination with zombies in Storybrooke.

5.  So, did Hook kill the giant in order to get the dead bean and we just totally glossed over that bit?

6. If they try to make the whole convoluted ‘we all get back because there’s really two ways that Hook knew all the time’ thing something he kindof did on purpose because he likes Emma and just wanted her to be in the new land with him, I will cut things.

7. Goddamn, Belle’s history gets more glum every time we see it.  Someone get the girl a tasting position on Iron Chef for the foreseeable future.

8. I dearly hope Cora’s keeping her heart the same way the villains do in Russian tales-in an egg, in a duck, in a fox, in a chest, at the top of the tallest tree (or similar things), and guarded by a fierce beast-in Cora’s case, the Jabberwocky.  I need this to happen.

9. I think everyone’s forgotten that Rumplestiltskin would also have ruptured feelings upon seeing a son abandon the parent who just magically tried to do everything they could to protect them.  After all, that’s EXACTLY what happened to Rumplestiltskin.  Granted, the details would give Rumplestiltskin a lot more guilt than Regina’s, but that will only make his emotional trauma worse.  His taunts to Regina could well be the automatic mechanism he’s built up in order to deflect his own tumultuous feelings.  Not that I promote taunting, but if we’re going to feel sympathy for Regina in this situation, Rumplestiltskin deserves a little, too.

10. Do we think the show will remember that magic is supposed to be different in Storybrooke and make her have trouble, or will they conveniently bypass that aspect on the argument that she came from a magical world to one which currently also had magic?


A Tea Song

A Tea Song to celebrate the first of December and the first real snowfall.


“Tea Song”


The kettle is on,

About to sing its smoke-sweet song.

We’ll pour it in shares,

comforting to our cares,

As the aroma erases what’s wrong.


Set out the mugs!

It’s time to pour our liquid hugs,

And get out the honey,

the sugar, and milk

to stir into our drink deep.


There’s herbs and there’s spice

to make our world nice

As we sip from the magic we’ve steeped.

It’ll flow to our toes,

Curing as it knows,

And the warmth is for us to keep.


Set out the mugs!

It’s time to pour our liquid hugs,

And get out the honey,

the sugar, and milk

to stir into our drink deep.


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