Lords of the Rings AND Other Things

In a recent birthday discussion about activities with the Lord of the Rings cast, in literary figures and then in actors, several things became clear.

1. If a magic school the equivalent of Hogwarts began in Middle Earth, its founders would be:

-Elrond for Ravenclaw

-Boromir for Gryffindor

-Samwise for Hufflepuff

-Saruman for Slytherin

2. When visiting a haunted house with a LOTR character, you should take Aragorn.  He’d totally have your back.

3. When on a whale-watching boat, the person to hang out with is Sean Bean.  He has the ability to engage in and enjoy shipboard merriment while simultaneously being aware of the environment and on alert for sightings, even if the other passengers include pranksters.

4. If one had to babysit with someone that someone should be Elrond or Hugo Weaving-can you see the expression on his face when they overhear things he hadn’t wished them to or started running the wrong way?

5. If one of the cast had to be your wedding planner, it should be Andy Serkis.  He’s got directing experience and the ability to make incredibly stressful, going-wrong things laughable.  If it had to be a character, your wedding planner is Faramir. 

6. If one of the cast were to give the first speech at your wedding, it should be Boromir.  He gives short, sweet speeches and appreciates the real life of the party.  Moreover, he’s good at directing everyone else to partake more in the merriment.

7. If one of the cast were stalking you, it should be Billy Boyd.  If one must have a stalker they should be a soulful Scottish singer.

8. The funniest charades partner would be Dominic Monaghan.

 

Other things have candidates.  For instance

-When going to a haunted house  with the actors, would it be more fun to go with Elijah Wood (reassuringly goofy, but into it) or Liv Tyler (loving the fear, but reassuringly on the brink of laughter)?

-Would the best character stalker be Pippin (hilarious and bearing food) or Legolas (most soothing stalker ever and pretty)?

-Would you rather play charades with Haldir (swishy, painstaking, and interpretive dancey) or Legolas (earnest, stiff, and hilariously helpless at guessing)?

-Who would you most like to maintain an allegedly fancy garden with?  Ian McKellan (“Good work, now let’s knock off and have some iced beverages in our hats”) or Liv Tyler (“All paths lead to beautiful”)?  In characters, would you partner with Elrond (who guarantees both serene learning and a flourishing garden) or Samwise Gamgee (who guarantees growing things and agreement to your plans)?

-Who’d make the best college roommate?  Frodo (quiet, reader, good for dancing at parties and rooting-for-you advice on crushes) or Faramir (quiet, reader, good for hiking and giving perspective on parental issues)?  Or acting-wise, Ian McKellan  or Liv Tyler?

-Who would you like to host a dinner party with?  Gimli (most enthusiastic foodie, good for rousing the carousing) or Bilbo (best thinker of food choices and used to putting up with the worst of manners)?  Ian McKellan or Elijah Wood?

-Would your favorite Middle Earth designer (if all of them became adept for an epic designing show) be Faramir (Symbols, shininess, whites, and blues) or Eomer (Soft cloth, warmth, golds, and burgundies)?

-Who would you most like to bake cupcakes with?  Theoden (coziness, inept comedy, and victory announcements) or Samwise (earnest, peaceful, and up for most of the work)? Or Elijah Wood (goofy, messy, and everything-licking good) or Liv Tyler (calm, sweet partier)?

-Who would you like to ride a roller coaster by?  Galadriel (twinkle-in-her-eye) or Faramir (the light on the horizon is EVERYWHERE)? 

-Who would you most like to read your tarot cards?  Galadriel “(I see things that are, things that were, and some things that have not yet come to pass”) or Bilbo (“This is the most fascinating thing I learned from the elves, let me ponder, hmm”)?  Or Hugo Weaving or Sala?

-Whose self-help book would you most like to read?  Faramir’s “Resisting Rings to find Happiness” or Theodon’s “Getting out of the Ring in your Head”?

 

Feel free to weigh in with votes, other options, or more questions! 

(For example, ones with too many candidates to put here were With whom would you visit the zoo?  Who’d be the best partner in a non-dangerous but tricksy maze?  And so on!)

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Elijah Wood on Classy

This photo from the September issue of Vogue is marvelous!  It purports to be from a movie concerning Henry James and Edith Wharton, but it’s clear what is really happening here.  These guys got together over their insistence that the new version of “classiness” has existed in all classes in the past and decided to get a custom photo done for that purpose, as preparation for launching their acapella quartet called “Class Half  Full”.  Their signature thing is that every song intro involves these puppies barking: their names are Camella and Maximillien.  However, as they were setting up a “bypasser” named Dominic Monaghan informed Elijah that it wasn’t classy to just leave a middle button undone like that.  Elijah was not amused, especially as Dom was wearing his leather cuffs, rainbow-painted nails, and scruffiest outfit for the day.  Also, his trademark smirk.  Elijah here is about to respond with an incredulous, scornful remark.  The guy on the far right is also insulted and ready to back Elijah up.  The guy on the far left just wants to get the picture taken so he can go home and figure out if it’s still worth it to go into the band with these rowdy guys, who might actually be nothing but riffraff.  The girl is enjoying the spectacle and getting a tad turned on.  By the end of this incident, there will be naked mud wrestling.  Maybe even in a classy way.

In Olympic News:

Irish teen Evan McGuire powers to Olympic record – National News – Independent.ie.

The voice of Brendan in Secret of Kells won the first Olympic 100-meter race!  (“I can’t believe you!  The Olympics are coming and here you are acting, acting, ACTING!!!”)  He set the record at the age of 17.  Now he’s planning to compete in the 2016 Olympics!

This is the reason I love the Olympics.  All these odd things from around the world come out of the woodwork abruptly filled with awesome.   I feel people should know and remember this so we can cheer for Brendan in the next games.  (And look for the inevitable Abbot guy in his team while intoning, “Waaaaaaaaaalls!”)

Dom+Billy

This poem about Billy Boyd (Pippin) by Dominic Monaghan (Merry) is the fulfillment of everything I think of them in my dreams, all the loveliness that can be put in a simple poem, the bromance of the century, and it’s a genuine statement about the human condition.  Dom, my hat is off to you!  *sigh of contentment*

In honor of this, I revisit an old Dom/Billy fanfic:

“Euphoria”

He watches him, and keeps his face devoid of expression because he’s just figured out something. Something about him. It had been years since he’d first caught sight of his fascination, his intrigue. And now, sitting in a coffeeshop laughing over drinks and distorted dreams, he’s finally beginning to understand. He’s always known there was something different about the man, something special, but he’d never been able to discern just what about him it was. He’s come close before, but tonight is the first time he actually gets it. He’s found the clue. The clue is simply this: Dom coaxes people into laughing. He doesn’t trick, or surprise anyone into it with witty dialogue like Ian. He doesn’t beguile it with eagerness like Orlando, or summon mirth like Viggo’s bouts of insanity. The others cause laughter naturally, through their clumsiness, their absurdities, their shrewdness. Dom’s levity is earned. To most of them, laughter is an echo of their own perceptions, an affirmation of their own personalities. But to Dom it means more. To Dom, it’s all about the company. If you were laughing with Dom, it meant that he was thinking about you. That was the great secret. He understands people by what makes them laugh. When he was with Dom, he was always laughing.

His thoughts collide with the eye contact, and Billy becomes suddenly and acutely aware that he has no idea what words have just been spoken. But even without knowing, he recognizes the look on Dom’s face. It’s the look of expectation he wears when Billy’s about to laugh so hard he can’t stop until his noggin’s been badly damaged by coming in contact with something hard. But now Billy sees more then the threat, he sees the concentration. The unconscious and unwavering focus, on him. Billy throws his head back, and laughs.

Dom watches from across the table, and listens. He doesn’t know why Billy didn’t hear him. He doesn’t know what prompted the visual examination. But he does know the sound of euphoria when he hears it. And when he hears it from Billy, he falls in love all over again. Someday, he’ll have the courage to do something about it.

The table falls silent, and the two men finish their drinks.

Christopher Lee 90th Birthday: 90 Reasons He is Awesome

Christopher Lee 90th Birthday: 90 Reasons The Horror Icon is Awesome.

 

Wow, yet another marvelous man of the film industry to celebrate!  I held Christopher Lee in deep respect already, now it shall have to be awe.  Awe can be difficult to carouse with, but I shall try my best.  Go forth and do the same.