Tolkienmas Tale-ol 3: “Return of the King”

To finish commemorating Peter Jackson’s Tolkien films in appropriately festive fashion, I offer a song about “Return of the King,” to be sung to the tune of “Angels We Have Heard On High.”

 

“Aragorn we have Crowned on High”

 

Mordor we have breached, today.

Brought the Ring to Mount Doom’s fires

And Gollum’s bite has torn away

Sauron’s hold on our desires.

 

Burn, in the fiery chasm

Burn, in the fiery chasm

 

 

Now heroes claim victory,

Now Lord Sauron’s lost his ring.

And by Gondor’s flowering tree,

Aragorn is crowned the king.

 

Aragorn, is the king of Gondor

Aragorn is the king of Gondor

 

 

Hobbits their way home do wend,

For their Shire has been saved.

Fellowship’s quest is at an end,

Just goodbyes still must be braved.

 

Frodo sails into the west

Frodo sails into the west

Frodo sails into the west.

 

For previous ones, go here:  https://wheresmytower.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/tolkeinmas-tale-ols-2-the-two-towers/

https://wheresmytower.wordpress.com/2012/12/05/tolkeinmas-tale-ols-1-fellowship-of-the-ring/

Tolkeinmas Tale-ols 1: “Fellowship of the Ring”

For the upcoming release of “The Hobbit”, I have decided to get festive.  The advent of more/mas Tolkein could do with a few carols, or tale-ols as celebrations of Peter Jackson’s past fine work.

Part I is “Fellowship of the Ring” commemorated in song to the tune of “Do You Hear What I Hear?”

 

“Will You Go Where I Go?”

 

Said Frodo Baggins to his gardener,

“Will you go where I go?”

As I set off on a quest so far,

“Will you go where I go?”

Due east, due east, into Sauron’s land

with the orcs as numerous as sand?

With the orcs as numerous as sand?

 

Said Elrond to the gathered lords,

“Will you guard the hobbit?”

As he goes toward fiery Mount Doom,

“Will you guard the hobbit?”

“With sword, with axe, and with elven bow,

We will guard wherever he may go!

We will guard wherever he may go!”

 

Said Gandalf to the company,

“Fly, you fools, and leave me!”

As I fall down deep in Morria,

“Fly, you fools, and leave me!”

They ran, they ran, in woods, on river beds,

Protected by Aragorn ahead,

Protected by Aragorn ahead.

 

Said Aragorn to those who still stood near,

“Hold true to each other!”

As the fellowship no longer shared their cheer,

“Hold true to each other!”

Let’s fight, let’s fight, and save the hobbits bold,

Let’s keep Sauron from spreading his hold!

Let’s keep Sauron from spreading his hold!

 

They kept Sauron from his ring of gold!

Lord of the Rock Operas

What the world needs now is a Lord of the Rings rock opera.  Here’s how it breaks down:

 

-The human heroes like Aragorn and Bormir are the rock gods.

-Rohan, home of the drum lords!

-Grima Flute Tongue!

-The orcs dance Bollywood (everything could use a little Bollywood).

-Wizards play keytar.

-The Mines of Morrhythm is inhabited by a bal-rap!

-The dwarves are like Stomp.

-Elves are the singers.

-The Eye of Sauron is the great silence, where there is suddenly no music whatsoever.  Because it is evil.

 

Musical interludes could include:

During the Council of Elrond:

One does not simply ROCK into Mordor!

In the land of Sauron

our hopes will be far gone,

The armies of Mordor

have orcs that are hardcore!

 

Not 10,000 men

could beard Sauron’s den-

One cannot simply rock into Mordor

We’re on the clock-let’s roll to Gondor!

(*expansive arm gesture as Boromir backs to his chair*)

And the guitar war between Aragorn and Boromir continues.

 

I see Gollum as having one simple theme music whose verses continue to change to such things as:

 

Tricksy precious sneaks!

Spies out what we seeks!

So beautiful, so bright!

The precious shall be mine-

Ours, my love!

 

Master I can se-erve!

Even the hobbit with cur-rves!

We don’t need you here anymore!

Good Smeagol helps now

So-run!  So, run!

 

They are tricksy, false, liars!

Stupid hobbitses-stupid shires!

The precious is mine!  My own!

We can takes it-us alone!

Our own, my love!

 

We can commit murd-er,

Herd them up to he-er,

We can survive, sure as sure,

Just trust your precious

Gollum!  Gollum!

 

Yes? No? Precious?