Non-Disney Dinner

There are also ample reasons to be thankful life is not really a cartoon or akin to the Disney version of fairy tales as you gather for dinner.

 

These include:

1. No birds put their germ-ridden feet on your pie in order to make the indentations in your delicious crust.

2. You do not have to eat the same piece of food from opposite ends with someone else in order to show you care.

3. No one will put out their cigarettes in your dessert. (Hopefully.)

4. The kitchen appliances and utensils will not complain about what you did or did not eat.

5. The cooks will remember to properly bake their dishes before applying toppings or decorative touches.

6. The seafood will not wander off your plate.

7. No one will serve you food by launching if off their elbow.

8. There will be no grubs.

9. Your dishes will not be the hiding spot of choice for mice.

10. The condiments will be slathered onto food instead of pocket watches.

 

(Seven points for every Disney reference you know.  Fifteen points for any new Disney thanks you have to give.)

Fairy Tale Food for Thanks

Today is a day to be thankful that:

 

1. There is a variety of food instead of simply a house (full) of dessert.

2. The cooks both appreciate and use salt, but it is not the only gift they’re serving.

3. There are enough greens without attempting to steal, beg, or barter them from anyone, let alone a witch.

4. Even if someone did ruin the loaf of bread, or side of potatoes, or pie, no one sunk down through the earth to be tortured as a statue in a realm more creepy than hell.

5. Since the family is gathered around the table, you can be sure that you didn’t accidentally imbibe the flesh of your son, sibling, or other relatives.

6. No matter what path you take to your family’s house, or how many wolfish problems you encounter on the way, there’s now insurance for that.

7. If you find a piece of jewelery in one of the dishes, you won’t have to try it on half the people in the realm before returning it to the right owner.

8. Even ducklings that grew up as just ugly ducks still taste delicious.

9. If a piece of food like apple, poisoned or not, becomes lodged in your throat, odds are someone will know and employ the Heimlich maneuver instead of imprisoning you in a coffin-like display case.

10. No matter how sleepy the meal makes you, you WILL wake up in less than a hundred years.

 

So raise a glass and give thanks that your holidays are not a fairy tale come true!

(Twelve points for every fairy tale reference you know.  Twenty-five points for any more fairy tale thanks left in the comments that fit the theme.)