The White Queen 1×2 “The Price of Power”

This episode is all about drawing allegiance lines and telling the audience what side everyone’s on.  Also, about jumping right to the parts that have the simplest bad guy/good guy dynamics and, when that won’t quite fit in, have characters tell fairy tale versions of things where the “bad” people are devilspawn and werewolves.  It’s kindof relaxing, really.  They like to tell you things rather than expecting you to think, so you can just plunk yourself down and revel in all the foreshadowing.  Which is not to say things are bad, it just feels more like watching a romance drama than a political scheming intrigue one.  Usually, you feel compelled to side with schemers, etc.  With this one you’re really just letting them take care of their own fights and leaning into the ride.  Need to be in the right mood.

 

SAFE-TO-READ thoughts:

1. I am starting to really like Isabel Neville this episode.  The second the script let her grow more than one dimension she became engaging, particularly in her relationship with Anne.

2. Anne Neville herself has clearly been told to play her single dimension up as much as she can, and she complies.  It had better change soon.

3. I love Warwick’s furry-shoulders cape.

4. I appreciate how they make everything feel sudden.  Very helpful for keeping up interest, when you already know what’s going to happen.  It also feels more authentic.

5. It is really amusing to see what lengths they will go to to make sure everyone in the audience knows who everyone’s going to be as soon as humanly possible.

6. The magic sideline begins to swing in a dull direction rather than the fun one here, though.  Swing back-swing it back!

7. This portrayal of Richard remains sidelined, absurd, and somehow geek-vibed, though.  They had all better get on that.

 

SPOILERS:

1.The Duke of Buckingham and Catherine together-I luuuuuurve it.  Particularly when she’s swinging her feet.  Child-Marriage, FTW!

2. Okay, seriously, Edward rides off WITHOUT A SINGLE DAMN BODYGUARD when he retreats from Warwick’s army??  No.  Just no.  Take his fucking head when that happens.

3. So, they just let Edward send off letters giving Elizabeth advice?  And with a messenger that got there faster than Anthony?  >.>

4. I do appreciate how they’re keeping all the butchery things somehow one place removed-through dreams or flashbacks.  It lets the actual sadness of the moment and the drama of the living characters overshadow everything and connects the audience to them, rather than their own thoughts, feelings, or lack there of concerning the deaths.  I think that’s smart, especially considering how short a time we’ve known anyone in this show.

5. Is it just me or did the wording of all concerned when Warwick made his move just sound like Woodvilles=Always Right!, even Edward IV=wrong!?  Cause that’ll get annoying.

6. Margaret Beaufort, why don’t I care about this version of you?

7. I am saddened that Henry VI did not get to indulge his insanity on camera.  It’s his one opportunity to have fun, after all.

China grounds world’s first CAKE DRONES

China grounds world’s first CAKE DRONES over fears they might fall on someone’s head as novelty delivery service goes from sweet to sour | Mail Online.

“The Incake bakery recently purchased three mini-drones and used them to carry its products  from its main branch to customers on the outskirts of the city.

Measuring three-and-a-half feet wide and weighing 22lb, the remote-controlled drones also were mounted with twin cameras to identify customers. 

However, despite its apparent success, Incakes fleet has now been suspended following concerns by the local civil aviation authority.

Officials said all unmanned aircraft need approval before they can be used for business.

Incake said its service will be suspended until it gets the relevant permits.

Incake describes itself as a high-class modern bakery. Orders for its £200 cakes can only be taken online.

The bakery claims its selection of cakes are devised by a ‘British top-class cake master’, called ‘Mr Vincent’.”

 

I don’t think this really needs anything added.  Cake drones!  Possible cakeshops as spy front!  a “cake master” called Mr. Vincent who may also be planning world domination!  Possible death-by-cake!  THE CAKE-DRONES ARE A LIE.

The White Queen 1×1 “In Love with the King”

A War of the Roses TV show, complete with the excuse of being based on a book to explain away historical inaccuracy, and a sideline in witchcraft!  What’s the worst that could happen?  Truth be told, I’m not sure yet.  The pilot was a decent entrance.  However, it manages it without doing anything to allay fears that it will fall apart soon or compel audiences to much of any definite emotions.  *side-eyes show*  Nevertheless, let’s saddle up.

 

SPOILER-FREE:

First and foremost, I feel that the entire drama played up by so many other shows for HOURS about Anne Boleyn playing for the hand of Henry VIII has been condensed, juiced, and served up as a pre-entree refreshment, because that Entire Storyline fit right into this pilot.  They had time left over for a heap of introductions, their magic sideline, and of course, gratuitous sex, even.  This amuses me greatly and gives me hope for more surprises in this show.

 

Second and side-eyed, are some of the casting choices.  WHY does the future Richard III look like he’s about to be in a high school geek movie??  Not happy.  MUST Warwick’s portrayal be so easily demonized so early?  Of course, this is balanced by the great choices of Elizabeth Woodville herself, her mother, and David Oakes (JUAAAN) as the Duke of Clarence.  I would almost be willing to watch this show solely for that, truth be told.

 

Third and thoughtful, why are the costumes not more amazing?  The whole look of the show is very “treat me seriously, I’m played down and authentic”, which is NOT the way something based on a Philippa Gregory book should go.

 

Fourth and finally, the magic sideline could be a lot of fun and humorous for people who love their history, or it could just be heavy-handed foreshadowing boring to those in the know and frustrating to those who aren’t at this point.  I very much hope it’s the former.

 

So, basically, my thoughts are still pretty up for grabs with this show.  How’re yours?

 

SPOILERS:

1. The fact that this century’s “love” arrangements are laid completely bare both rattles and pleases me.  I am torn.  On the one hand, probably-yeah, like that.  Plus, things that give Elizabeth excuses to play with knives are fun.  On the other hand, the fact that somehow the show is simultaneously trying to play out the love story as some kind of revamping of Edward IV’s character is…strange and disconnected.  At least for me.  So basically, what I’m left with is that I don’t know what to think of this Edward IV incarnation.  Cause on the one hand, he was this kind of bastard.  On the other hand, he’s not a glorious bastard enough for me to enjoy that part of him and it’ll be much easier to enjoy this show if he doesn’t rub me the wrong way all the time.  Plus, I feel like the actor is doing his best and it was mainly some gaps/rushing in the writing that is causing the disconnect.  So, we shall see.

2. I am deeply looking forward to the royal brotherly loves being foiled by the Woodville brotherly loves.  There should be a lot of that.

3. I do really enjoy Jaquetta.  I’d like to watch shows with her-I know she’ll be yelling out the reasonable advice right along with me.  Plus, you’ve just got to enjoy that kind of brashness.

 

“For Twelve”

Twelve steps, twelve brothers, twelve ones you know,

All are scattered with just one blow.

Blank white rises, with fear and debris,

No emotion is tidy when lives need to flee.

 

The floors of the palace are empty and dull,

Without the extremes you’re in apathy’s lull.
You know pain’s cause isn’t far away

Its threat follows quietly as you pay.

 

In silence, since you’ve lost words to say-

and the ones you could tell them to, anyway.

In work, dragging on, for one sinful blast-

Nothing takes longer than cleaning out the past.

Resentment and love are both nettles that sting,

But comfort is far away and tired to the wing.
So keep on, grind on, use these things to weave.

The world says, “Idle hands are not the way to grieve.”

 

The halls of the palace are grand and echo,

but they offer no clue as to which way to go.
It’s filled with beauty and sights that are new;
It’s that same old place while the work pulls at you.

 

Guilt says, “Stamp the pain, stay up late, you can drag this on.”

Exhausted, alone, you’re not ready for the dawn.

Deadline comes, grabs your labors before the sun.

The world sees relief there and thinks that you have won.

But twelve and twelve are not the same; year and sorrow drained you dry.

Only one wing, pure and blank, warms you from this lie.

Give up, give in, lift loneliness and speak.

Here has sought me, though Death has what I seek.

 

My palace walls are decked and bright

And I’ve learned to rest here through the night.
The feast is for joy, for life, and for me.

I shall say yes…and keep just one wing free.

Vlad the Impaler’s Just Desserts

Lately, in honor of a birthday wish, my friends and I decided to celebrate Vlad the Impaler: inspiration for Dracula, terrible warlord, motto: “To the PAIN!–AND DEATH!”  

Now, most people take these images and honor him by creating things along the lines of:

My friends and I chose a different direction:

Note the peaked red cap!  The bloodied face!  The bodies on spikes!  The battlefield dirt and decomposing flesh!

This is our design.

…And it was delicious.

Yes, That’s a Giant Colin Firth Floating in the Serpentine || Jaunted

 

Yes, That’s a Giant Colin Firth Floating in the Serpentine || Jaunted.

 

This is just beautiful.  THIS is how you do a proper Christmas in July!!